The Real Social Network – Mothers Day & The 3rd Pillar

To me, over the years, life will come at you in three phases:

Phase 1. Achieving Physical

The hardest part of life is being born. Its’ when you are most susceptible to disease and the environment.

According to one study, “More than a third of babies die on their first day of life — making the birth day the riskiest day for newborns and mothers almost everywhere.”

If you are reading this as an adult you have already won the genetic lottery.

Phase 2. Acquiring Resources

This is not just making money. But in the modern world you primarily will use some form of paper money to exchange resources with people.

You must be able to accumulate enough resources for yourself and your family or you are on a quick path to a short, unhappy life.

You don’t need billions, but you have to at least get to some level of financial independence.

As the Nobel prize winning author Daniel Kahneman says, you need to make at least $75,000 per year in order to achieve the happiness ‘tipping point’.

I think that figure is just the starting point in moving from scarcity to independence. You should strive to go beyond that level into real prosperity and even beyond into global impact.

3. Mastering The Social Game

Social is the hardest. Today’s book of the day is “Social” by the Harvard professor, Daniel Lieberman.

He says the default state of the human brain is social.

When we are not adding up our taxes or playing chess we revert to thoughts of our social standing:

Does he/she like us?

Who is gossiping about us at work?

Will they promote me?

Who can we trust?

This is why everyone in the modern world spends all day starting at their IPhone and their Facebook.`

Lieberman says that if Facebook was a religion it would be the third most active religion after Christianity and Islam.


Your social skills will be the ultimate determinant of your success at finding the good life.

Pretty much everything you need to know about the first 2 phases of life have already been figured out. It’s not rocket science on how to be fit and healthy. And I can pretty much show anyone the 67 steps to becoming a millionaire.

But social – oh brother – social is hard.

Dealing with the complex human brain in other people is complicated.

Most people have what I call “TBPS” or “Too Big Of Personality Syndrome.”

They want things they don’t deserve and they are willing to make your life hell in order to get it.

Humans interests are intrinsically in conflict. What is a win for you is not a win for them.

It’s a Pareto inefficiency.

Everyone pursuing their own best interest makes for a chaotic social fabric.

If you don’t believe me just look up the statistics on divorce, depression, and domestic violence.

Most of our problems are social in nature.

But the good news is that most of the good life is also social.

The week of mother’s day always reminds me that this social life is divided into three parts.

Family, friends, romance – I call it the “social trio.”

My mom used to say that you can tell someone’s true character by how they get along with their family.

That might be true.

Although, I was reading some girls Facebook post the other day and she said, “My mom has hated me for 10 years and I hate her back. Happy mother’s day.”

That reminded me that many people in the modern world have horrible parents.

the real social network, mothers day, the 3rd pillar, achieving physical health, acquiring resources, mastering the social game, the genetic lottery

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